Bah-humbug by Gail Koger

Thirty-one years of wild requests, screwy questions, bizarre behavior and outrageous demands have left me with a permanent twitch and an uncontrollable craving for chocolate. Don’t get me wrong. Working as a 9-1-1 dispatcher can be very rewarding. BUT - some days I felt like the whole world was nuts and Christmas brings out the worst in people. What? You actually thought that for one day a year folks would get along? Peace on Earth and all that goodwill crap? You’ve been sucking way too much eggnog, my friends. It’s a myth.

Instead of a nice honey baked ham and all the fixings I got to inhale a cold Banquet turkey dinner. Instead of the fairy tale of a happy family gathered around a roaring fireplace, I got to deal with reality and reality sucks. Take this call for example:

“I need to find Grandma’s house,” a drunken idiot said. Digging for my supply of Tylenol, I responded, “Sir, 9-1-1 is for life threatening emergencies. We don’t give directions.” The drunken fool cried, “You’re 9-1-1 you know everything.” Wonder where he got that idea? “Sir, I have no idea who your Grandmother is or where she lives.” He sputtered in surprise, “You don’t? But… But I’m late for dinner!” The guy was really starting to annoy the hell out of me, “Why don’t you pull over and I’ll have a nice officer come and help.” Yeah, right to jail, you moron, driving while intoxicated is against the law. “Okay, thanks.” “My pleasure and have a great Christmas.”

Downing a handful of Tylenol, I answered another call and could hear people screaming blue bloody murder. “9-1-1 emergency, what is your emergency? Hello?”
An out-of-breath woman cried, “We need the cops. My three brothers are fighting over the wishbone.” Not quite sure I had heard her correctly, I repeated, “They’re fighting over the wishbone?” There was a loud crash and the woman shrieked, “Omigod! There went the tree, please hurry.” I quickly typed the information in. “Ma’am does any of your brothers have a weapon?” The woman shouted, “What kind of stupid question is that?” One I need answered, dearie. “Ma’am, I need to know if any of your brothers are armed with a weapon.” She huffed, “Just get someone out here before Rex gets his chain saw started.” “Chain saw? Hello?” The line was dead. The moral to this story is; the family that fights together gets to go to jail together. Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas.

Some citizens of our fair cities have absolutely no idea of what an officer can or cannot do. They aren’t plumbers, electricians, alligator wrestlers (don’t ask) or allowed to shoot your neighbor’s noisy Santa carousel. Give your poor overworked 9-1-1 dispatchers a break and don’t call unless you have a real emergency. And no, we won’t haul your Christmas tree away or help you take down your lights. Anyone have any chocolate?

Another Sweet Holiday Surprise

~Darlings~

This past month at Whispers we've been full of surprises. We are in the midst of hosting our first annual Christmas Bash at whisperyourfantasies yahoo loop, and it's still going strong over there so go join in the fun. You can find the link on the right hand side of this page.

Further, we have some smoking hot new books by Kerri Nelson, Holli Winters and more. You absolutely must go to our website and see what Santa can stock your kindle with.

Also, we have another surprise for you...we have our very own online radio station. Yes, on December 21st at 5:30 pm Eastern time you can hear us whisper our fantasies to you live and on air. Now don't panic, its all good fun and PG 13. We don't want the FCC to get cranky with us, do we?

Here's how you find us

Blog talk radio

We're going to have a ball, and I want you all to come join us.
Mark your calendars, darlings, and listen to us live on our fledgeling broadcast.
And keep checking in with us. We've got more fun and exciting things to come.
Hugs
Patricia

NEW RELEASE: Kerri Nelson's Eve of the Dragon

Darlings,
Once again we have another delictble offering from our own Kerry Nelson. This novel is entitled Eve of the Dragon and it's yours for just 1.95 a download. You can't find such quality writing for such a price at any old book and mortar bookstore. You have to come here to get it, or Fiction wise, or Amazon. You get the idea. But you better come quickly (excuse the pun) before this wonderful new release is snatched away!
But to tempt you further, here is an excerpt from the novel, plus a tasty cover for you to whisper your fantasies over. What's better than that???
Bon livre
Patricia

BLURB

When college student Chloe Griffith elects to spend her Christmas break backpacking through the Fuji mountains of Japan, she has no clue that she's about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime.

During Chloe's first day of hiking near the village of Ginowan, she watches as a fierce Asian warrior slays a dragon to save his village. Fascinated by the extreme turn of events, she stays in the village to learn more about this dark, sexy warrior.

She soon learns that the village is caught in a time warp and that the warrior is doomed to repeat the same battle every single night.

Chloe must find a way to help the village and save her lover. Will the magic of Christmas be enough to break this ancient curse?



* * * *



Excerpt:

Masaru had never felt anything quite like her lips. Kissing her was like ingesting sweet nectar. He drank from her lips, and when she finally broke the kiss, he found himself aching for another taste.

The woman sat back and looked around as if unsure of her actions. Masaru studied her lovely face and deep, green eyes. Her full lips pouted outward.

"Migoto,” he whispered. Her eyes blinked down at him. He wondered if she realized that he’d just told her that she was beautiful?

He didn’t have to wonder for long. She pushed back the blanket that was wrapped around her shoulders and leaned forward into his arms. Soon, she was straddling his body on the floor as she sat in his lap and began kissing his lips once again.

Though surprised at her brazen actions, he did not refuse her affections. He didn’t know this woman, but there was an unmistakable connection between them.

He’d felt it from the moment they met. Maybe it had been the way she drank him in with her eyes. He wasn’t sure, but he had been so long without the touch of a woman that he found his strength to resist was no match for the feelings of passion she was bringing forth in him.

He cradled her half-naked body in his arms as her mouth devoured his with a passion that seemed way more intense and mature than her age. Her arms wound around his shoulders as she pressed herself into his chest.

He could feel her smooth thighs against his hands as he held her steady in his lap. He had to see more…to feel more of her. He began to unfasten her coat and then she pushed back from him.

He looked up with a small measure of embarrassment as he assumed his action had been unwanted. Instead, she pulled her jacket off in one swift motion and it was swiftly followed by the removal of a fleece pullover…leaving her in only a t-shirt and panties.

Where did kissing under the mistletoe come from?

Jeez, when you think about it, it's kind of wierd. We put poisonous parasitic plants up on the cieling and then kiss people under it, but kisses are good, right? So why stop a good thing?

Kissing has been going on under the mistletoe for ages, but have you got in on the action? In theory it sounds like fun. Staking out the area under a plant and waiting for your future victims--ahem...crushes to lock lips with.

It's a nice placed to set up a romance, and that thought is how a story can be born. Inspiration can strike anywhere, and that is when I will begin to research the inspiration so it can work for my future stories. Where did the strange cultural custom come from?

The answer lies in ancient Scandinavia. There it was recognized as the plant of peace. If enemies met in a forest beneath it, they would make a truce to not fight until the next day. The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe began with the Norse myth of Baldur, who died and was then resurrected. Frigga his mother at the birth of her son, made all the plants in the forest promise that they would not harm him. Loki who was also the God of mischief noticed she forgot the mistletoe plant. He tricked another God into killing Baldur by fashioning a spear tipped with mistletoe. Since Baldur was a God of vegetation, his death brought Winter to the world. Eventually he was brought back to life and his mother decreed the mistletoe plant sacred, ordering it to bring love rather than death into the world. So even now when two people pass under the misteltoe they will kiss to celebrate Baldur's resurrection.

Have you ever kissed under the mistletoe? Not me, but I've always wanted to.

Lots of love,
Missy Lyons
www.missylyons.com
Whispers author of Naughty or Nice, Boyfriend for Hire, and A Warrior's Woman

Ho Ho Ho

Their home was decked out in its usual Christmas splendor, but Elizabeth wanted her present for Harold to be special. She could don a lively gown to get his attention, or she cold wear nothing at all save a sprig of mistletoe in a secret place. That would certainly scandalize her conservative Victorian acquaintances if they knew. But opinions didn’t really matter any longer, did they?

In a genre I have dubbed “Erotimance,” my second Whispers tale moves from the American West to Victorian England. "Spirit of Christmas Past" isn’t Jacob Marley rattling his chains. It’s someone much more appealing and it certainly isn’t a chain she’s rattling.

Hope you enjoy and Happy Holidays.

Troy Seate

Prize List!

Dawn Carrington, two five dollar gift certificates to our store.

Beth Caudill: beaded bookmark

Christine De Petrillo: The Last Stallion

Yolanda Sfestos: Selkie Skin

Rhiannon Neely: Chocolate crème Godiva coffee gift pack

Colleeen Du Voll Witches Kiss

Patricia Snodgrass: Destiny's Mark

Gail Koger: Just My luck

Kerri Nelson: Body glitter/body butter gift basket

Holli Winters: Bath/body works gift cards :D magnets

Katherine Kingston, Copy of Meltdown and scented candles from Yankee candle

Jane Kent: green tea and mint foot care basket and copy of
Getting It Right

And the Piece d’ resistance…
Grand prize gift basket filled with Godiva Goodies

ANNOUNCING CHRISTMAS BASH!

You are Cordially Invited

Whispers Publishing’s
1st Annual Christmas Bash
This year’s theme is
12 Days of Naughty and Nice
Beginning
December 12th
and ending
December 23rd
At Whisper Your Fantasies Yahoo Group. Hope to see you there!